I've got a bike and the perils of hotel swimming pools

Kwans family ( Ad on left, Kwan mother next to him)

I’ve got a bike, I’ve got a bike, I’ve got a bike

To be honest I hadn’t even thought about giving her a name until she arrived at the hotel, I’m open to suggestions and I’ll make a choice in the next couple of days. To assist the basic facts are she is a 2001 Yamaha XVS1100 Dragstar (please no Danny la Rue suggestions) the reg no is:
มนต 111

Which is probably not much help, the letters are a bit tricky the first two are easy they are the Thai equivalent of ‘M’ & ‘N’ and they are low class consonants. The third is a little tricky as it has no English equivalent but is somewhere between a ‘D’ and a ‘T’ and is a middle class consonant for those of you taking notes.
The acquisition was a bit of a pavlova, it is easy to forget what it is like trying to do business in Thailand (or Asia for that matter). I have developed the knack of laughing when absurdities get to you, you tend to get some odd looks but it is a 100% better than losing it which just throws them. Another trick is to pick up on coded messages. The telephone call on Monday from the bike shop was "Your bike is ready, when can you come and pick it up?" translates to "Bring all your money with you and we’ll see what we can do", and then followed up by the kicker "There’s no problem" translate "You can’t miss it".
To be fair to the bike shop owners, there was no mischief involved and they did go out of their way to make sure I was united with my bike the same day that money changed hands.
The day started OK I was in a quandary as weather to wear my motorcycle boots or not, it’s going to be pretty hot and I had no idea what the day was going to bring. I would emphasise that a lot of problems are caused by language difficulties and not being too sure what is going on, I would stress it is their country and their language, I am the outsider. A 9:30 meeting with Ad who was going with me to make sure everything went smoothly. We then went to his bank to draw up the bank cheque (or bank draft as they are known in Blighty) and then off to the motorcycle shop. The bike was there, serviced and with the rack fitted, they had done a good job although the sub plate had been bent getting it on which would need a bit of retro work. I took it out for a spin just to give it the once over whilst Ad went through the paperwork with the shop owner. Paperwork is a favourite here, they like their receipts and chits and forms. I thought there were far too many for the simple purchase of a vehicle. It was at this point it was announced that now they have to take motorcycle to Transport department in Mo chit to get a roadworthy test, tax and to get green book changed over into my name, Hopefully the bike will be ready tomorrow. This is when you laugh. Again the coded message was, "The bike is ready when can you pick it up?" To an outside observer who doesn’t have a hope in hell of keeping up with conversation, even the simplest transaction seems to require an inordinate amount of heated debate and a lot of gesticulation. It is never angry but heated and often lengthy. After what seemed like an eternity Ad told me that the shop will take the bike to the Transport Department and push it through the system in about an hour and a half. Ad and myself would get a taxi there and wait for the call from their man when the bike was ready. Seemed like a plan. So we hopped into a taxi and made our way to the Transport Department. I didn’t know what to expect, the events of the day weren’t turning the way they should have any way. I should have realised that this was a place where all the Bangkok traffic goes to be practice congestion, a seething mass of humanity and wheels. Anyhow It gave us a chance to grab a bite to eat, I was started to heat up quite badly, and really regretting wearing the bike boots. The place also doubled as some sort of government training facility (in case they didn’t think it was crowded enough) and we went into a canteen which was the home to flight school and was packed with uniformed young men and women. So we whiled away a couple of hours there before Ad decided to call the bike shop to see what the go was. The telephone conversation that followed was a little unexpected. The bike shop had decided to take the bike to another ministry building in Bang Na. To give you an idea of the geography Mo Chit and Bang Na are at opposite ends of the one of the sky train lines, in London Underground parlance it is Braintree and Gatwick, Melbourne Connex it is Broadmeadows and Frankston. What an earth he was doing there I will never know and what the hell were we doing sitting in the canteen in the transport department looking at uniformed young girls for over 2 hours. Anyway shop says I should go back to hotel and he would drop the bike off later. So bit of a walk to Mo Chit sky train station, looked like another downpour was on its way because it was getting even muggier than it usually is and my feet snugly inside my bike boots were starting to complain.
I was back in the hotel by 2:30, boots off and discovered I now have very tiny feet. The bike turned up just after 4:00, I heard it arrive. As the hotel is located in central Bangkok and rush hour had started it was not the best time to take it for a spin. I took it out at about 7:00 it was still chockers, I was trying to find the way to Narai hotel where I was going for lunch with Kwan’s friends the next day, also where my friend Michael was staying. The traffic was as hairy as I expected no worse or better. You have to keep your wits about you and to be honest I would have liked a bit of a more friendly environment to get used to a new bike. Concentrating on riding and traffic made it difficult to navigate and as the major turn I wanted to take was closed this threw my plan completely. Managed to negotiate a return route through the university and got back to the hotel in one piece, no problems. So I’ve had my first experience of riding a bike through Bangkok traffic and looking forward to heading north next week. As I understand it before I can get insurance for the bike I have to wait for the green book to be in my name, this takes a couple of days apparently, however anything is possible, I could in Bangkok for a few more days yet.

The perils of hotel swimming pools.

Just a quick blog today to relate an event which took place on the last morning I was at the Bangkok Asia Hotel. I was joined in my regular morning swim by three gentlemen of unknown ethnic persuasion. After I finished my swim I got chatting, turns out they are Iranian business men. Any hoo, I did my cool down laps and got and got into the hot tub for a few minutes. The three Iranians were unaware that there was a hot tub near the pool, it is slightly obscured from view there was some exited chatter and the next thing I knew they joined me in the somewhat small hot tub, no problem there, they seemed a friendly bunch. The chatter continued between them for a few minutes, then the guy who I talked to earlier, who seemed to be the only one with any command of English turned to me and said, "My friend thinks you have a beautiful body". Now I’ve been around a bit and I have travelled, I have had mainly good experiences but the scary ones include being robbed outside my hotel in New Orleans and a Hells Angel grabbing me by the throat because he thought I’d taken pictures of his ‘colours’. But that morning was the first time I had experienced real terror.